A R Y N N

“If I know what love is, it is because of you.”

Diaper. Sleep. Feeding.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016 || 7:10 PM

My days are jumbled all over the place. Time doesn't seem to matter now. I'm counting the hours till the next feed, making sure he is comfortable and waking every single night at 1am and not sleeping even because he remains awake at night and sleeps in the day. So... each morning I'm super cranky from the lack of sleep. But, despite all these, I don't mind. My heart is at ease just from seeing his smile.

Baby, don't grow up too fast ok? I love you. Soooo much.

P.S: i miss chubs even though he is just beside me. I'm too busy looking after baby that I'm spending lesser time with him. So poor thing.

21.12.16

Thursday, December 22, 2016 || 3:20 AM

Birth story

It began on 20th dec when i woke up from sleep at 330pm. I hadn't slept well last night and woke up really early. Decided to go back to sleep and managed to wake up at 330pm so i still had time to pray Dzuhur.

Went into the toilet to have a hot bath and since pregnant women have more discharge than necessary, its a routine to clean the hole below. As per normal, stuck my finger in and found weird texture inside. Hmm. I took said finger out and found mucus tinged with blood. I was thinking, so what should I do? Decided to text my gfs asking for opinion and finally just decided to stay at home in the meantime.

At about 5pm, i got restless. There wasn't anymore bleeding/spotting nor were there any pain. So i coaxed Faiz to bring me out. I really wanted to eat the Seafood Ban Mian at Ehub and play LAN with Nora and Syafiq. So after Maghrib, we headed out. I wasn't feeling any pain still.

We played LAN after dinner till about midnight. I needed to buy maternity pad but since pharmacies were close, Faiz drove us to West Plaza NTUC to just get an overnight pad in the meantime in case I needed it. Then, i was hungry again so i asked Faiz if we could get cupcorn from Mcdonalds Drive Thru. Queued for some time. After getting the corn, we drove home and reached at about 1am.

I couldn't sleep that night. Started feeling slight contractions which were irregular. I told Faiz I didnt want to go to the hospital till it was 5 minutes apart because if not, the hospital would just ask me to go home. I monitor the contractions at 3am because it was starting to come earlier and faster. Kept grunting and moving about throughout the night. Kept going to the toilet to check if there were anymore bleeding. At around 4am, the contractions were 5mins apart. I was starting to panic. I woke Faiz up and asked if we should head to hospital.

So we got ready and I got Mak and Ayah to send me down as Faiz went ahead to get the car. I was already nervous by then and in pain. Nonetheless, I told Faiz to drive slowly because I was afraid that he was panicking as much as me. We reached the hospital at about 5.15am. I was brought up to the delivery suite. The nurse asked if i wanted pain relief so they could admit me in since I was only 1cm dilated. At that point I didn't know what to do so she said they would monitor me for 45mins nd then get a doctor to review.

After 30mins, the pain was starting to feel stronger so I texted Faiz and asked him if I could just get admitted and get pain relief. So after signing forms, i had to choose which type of pain relief I wanted. It was either laughing gas, an injection on the thigh ( which may/may not be effective and can only be administered after 6hrs) and lastly epidural. I chose laughing gas because although I was feeling the pain, it was still bearable.

It became worse when I was 3cm dilated. The nurse had to push in her fingers to check my cervix and it was beyond agony. I was already clutching/oulling/scratching/pushing Faiz hands like mad and seriously delirious with pain. I told the nurse I wanted epidural. So, epidural has many risks but is still the most effective pain relief. It numbs your body so that you won't feel the contraction pain. How they administer it is by injecting your spinal cord at which point,you CANNOT MOVE. And i was wriggling in pain! It was nearly impossible and the doctor scolded me. The risk is that if a needle was inserted wrongly, it could lead to paralysis.

So, clutching a nurse hand like mad, i sat as still as i could. When the meds kicked in, the relief is instantaneous! I was so thankful for that. I was able to communicate with Faiz afterwards and talk to the nurses better because I was not wriggling in pain anymore. This was happening at 9-10am.

So there were regular checks every now and then and the nurses administering antibiotics since I had a certain bacteria and this was to protect the baby. At around 3.30pm, i was already 5cm dilated. Started having stronger comtractions and the epidural was wearing off. I had to ask the nurse to administer once more. Faiz was being superb. He held my hands throughout the whole painful experience. He got pulled and pushed and he still hang in there.

The second epidural's dosage was more and therefore stronger. My legs were both numb and the numbness was up till my chest area. Finally managed to get more rest. At 4pm, i was 10cm dilated. Fully dilated! I was shocked! So it was time. I had an hour to start having the push feeling and if not, at 5pm, they would just go ahead and ask me to push. So, we waited and waited till it was 5pm.

I was feeling the tightness around my stomach but not the pain since the epidural was still in effect. So each time there were contraction, i was told to take a really deep breath, hold it, chins down to chest, snd holding both thighs up, legs open wide and use the core muscles to push the baby. The contraction started becoming irregular. They were coming twice and then having a gap in between which made it a waiting game. Nonetheless, i pushed according to the nurse instruction and with Faiz's support, Muhammad Fauzan was delivered at 5.59pm.

Faiz was given the chance to cut the umbilical cord. Hahahaha he was shaking from all the blood. Seeing Fauzan's face was just priceless. The nurse cleaned him up and after weighing him, they placed him on my chest.

It made the whole experience worth it. They began to push my stomach area to take out the placenta and then stitched me up below since they had to make a slight tear to get Fauzan's head out. At around that time, i had nausea and vomitted all over the bed! Luckily it wasn't on Fauzan. Faiz helped to clean me up, bless him.

I'm forever going to remember this moment because at that point of time, i know how much Faiz loves me. :') despite all the blood and violence, he stayed through with me and comforted me even when I was pushing him because of the uncomfortable feeling.

So i vomitted again just as I was about to have my dinner and decided to just skip. At around 8, i was changed into the hospital gown and we headed up to the wards. So, thats it!

Post Wedding Photoshoot

Friday, December 16, 2016 || 4:04 PM

Too many photographs taken that day. Mad love for the outfits that we chose! Its really rare to see Chubs agreeing to wear all these colors but since its a once-in-a-lifetime thing, he agreed to these outfits! <3 p="">

Staycay with ❤️

|| 9:55 AM

Last monday, went ahead to surprise the husband with a staycation at Carlton Hotel. Surprise successful! 😂 He had no idea where he was driving to. I wanted to drive but since I'm heavily pregnant, he told me to just give him the directions. I wasn't gonna spoil the surprise so i told him to drive via KPE and then exit Nicoll Highway. Kinda nice doing surprises for people you love.

The hotel room; 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼 the bed and the pillows were soooo fluffy! Once we laid down, didn't wanna get out of bed! Hehehe. View was good too! It was a simple R&R. Watched TV whole day. We did went out to grab some late lunch; packed some BK burgers and brought it back to the hotel and then, at night we drove to the ramen stall to get my much needed craving out of the way: Sashimi! 😌

Couldn't stand the cold so chubs swam alone the next morning before checkout. I sat by the ledge and accompanied him. Swam for less than 30 mins! Hahahah. Afterwards, checkout was at noon. We had 3.5 hrs to kill before my appointment at KKH.

So we went to have lunch at Tekka anddddd... slept in the car. 😂👍🏼

Doctor said baby is doing fine! Did scanning to have a look at him and all is well! Baby weighs 2.7kg. I gained a total of 15kg. Where did that 12.3kg go?! 😭

REVAMP

Sunday, December 11, 2016 || 10:17 PM

finally, managed to retrieve back my old blog. Sadly (not sadly), i had to delete all those previous posts. Clean page, clean slate, clean start, no? :)